“With the palms zipping past and the big sun burning down on the road ahead, I had a flash of something I hadn’t felt since my first months in Europe—a mixture of ignorance and a loose, “what the hell” kind of confidence that comes on a man when the wind picks up and he begins to move in a hard straight line toward an unknown horizon.”

Hunter S. Thompson, ‘The Rum Diaries’

Having been back in HK for over two weeks, I have experienced a range of emotions that only someone moving to the other side of the planet on a flimsy job offer can feel. As I dragged my huge, half broken suitcase along with my stupidly heavy backpack through the airport, on to the extremely efficient, clean and cool MTR train I took some time to bask in the excitement of my new adventure. The sun shone through the window as I sat smiling with sunglasses on and Snow patrol’s ‘take back the city’ fuelling my overtired confidence. 36 hours from Glasgow>London>Mumbai>Hong Kong with all the lay overs. I’m surprised I had the mental capability to actually make it to my new abode.

The streets of Sham Shui Po are no place for a broken oversized suitcase and crippling backpack combo. Not especially at noon. The usual reckless crowds of Hong Kong are even more savage here. This is the ‘Dark Side’. This is where the markets are. This is where the flea markets are. Half the people don’t even have stalls!

I swiftly navigated my way through the consumer jungle, ruining some of the worst visual merchandising displays I have ever seen and finally found the ramshackle door to the place I could finally rest. Relief.

I had found a dorm deal online which was really cheap, in a central-ish Kowloon location and seemed like the best option for the first few months of my life in HK. Promises of rooftop gardens and the whole communal living thing appealed greatly to me and it seemed not only like my only feasible option financially (HK rent prices are crazy high) but also a quite homely nice student type feel, like I have been used to from working on ships and the time in the Amsterdam hostel. I had imagined having an almost immediate group of friends, rooftop parties and feeling like part of something. However, the rabble of thoughts that invaded my brain as I opened the door into this tiny cupboard of a room made my utterly overspent mind go completely blank, I sigh-laughed and decided that I would figure it out when I’d had a decent sleep.

The mattress is really thin and hard, the window has plaster on it and bamboo scaffolding outside, and there is pretty much no storage space except from shoving things under the bed. I had already paid the first month rent and deposit. I had no money to go elsewhere. My assumed future employer was not responding to my emails. All my old friends who lived here 3 years ago had left, or I hadn’t kept in touch. I felt like such an asshole. I left my home, a place where I have numerous loving friends and family, friends who are now counted as family. A safe warm home to stay in. Hell I even got offered a decent job at a bank with good prospects for progression. Why did I throw all of this away to go live so far away, with no stable job, not even a contract! Just my instincts screaming at me to go. Literally SCREAMING. The day I went for the interview for the bank job I felt sick afterwards. Putting on these office like clothes, my excellent most open and confident smile and my promise that I had travelled around the world and was now ready to settle down. I felt sick, so sick. I went to Glasgow’s Gallery of Modern Art. Art galleries are like my church. I walked into the ground floor exhibition, which often changes and is always good. A huge sign saying ‘TOMORROW IS TOO LONG AWAY’ in beautiful rainbow colours and cursive lettering stopped me in my tracks. The exhibition featured a range of different seating options and a large projection screen showing a range of clips from people, doing some pretty ‘strange’ things and being quite open about it. The video was a punch in the face to societal norms and championed the spirit of ‘you do you’ philosophies which are coming to rise these days. I sat on a deck chair in my black business wear, my stomach in knots. I felt disgusting. Working in a bank is not what I want. I thought that I would do it for a while to make money, and work on my own side projects in my time off. But I was scared. Scared that I would be stimulated, promoted and end up working in that bank for another 40 years. I could see my life stretching out in front of me. I messaged a few of my friends, telling them of my angst. But no one really knows what they are doing in life, so how could anyone help? The thought of taking the bank job filled me with dread, but I knew it was the most sensible option. I just don’t think being ‘sensible’ is very much how I want to live my life, and I certainly don’t want to be a bank manager! I hate money! If I could live a life without money I would! I imagined myself in a ‘project mayhem’ style situation a la Fight Club, taking down the banks from the inside. I wandered George square alone without direction, feeling all mixed up and distraught.

At that moment I got an email through – a language centre in Hong Kong wanted to arrange an interview with me. Taking it as a sign from the universe, I decided that I needed to go back to HK. I got offered the bank job, they were so impressed with my interview that they offered me a better job at head office and more money. I booked my flights to Hong Kong.

So here I am, almost three weeks later. I start my job tomorrow. I have been to two other interviews, as this first job refused to get back to me, to the point that I actually turned up to the school at confront them. I still don’t have a contract. But I have been offered a job in a Kindergarden which should start in a month due to the visa drama, so I feel much more secure in my position I had a couple of times where I had to ask myself if I was about to have a melt down. The funny thing about meltdown’s is that they are a complete waste of time and energy if you are on a solo mission. There is no one to get you back on track, no one to comfort and support you or give you a hug and no one to slap you and tell you to get a grip. It’s very hard being somewhere and trying to make it on your own. But for some reason I have this strong sense that I will succeed. Some sort of delusion perhaps, but time will tell. I have a plan underway. I have made a friend, through a friend and she is great! It’s quite rare for me to find someone who has such a similar attitude to life as I do, but it is really fantastic! I see great things coming from our friendship, but I won’t get into those plans just yet. As for the accommodation situation, I got over the tiny tiny room. I decorated it with my collection of postcards and scarves. I think I’m even starting to enjoy the harder bed! But the best thing of all is that today I found out that I actually do have access to the dorms rooftop garden. I had thought until today that it didn’t exist, finding only a terrible balcony in my building… see below: my attempt at doing laundry failed and I flooded the place.

But today speaking to another dorm dweller I found out that this company has another building on the next block which is where the roof garden is! Promises of non broken washing machines, barbecues and rooftop parties just filled my little heart with joy. Life is good my friends! It has been an interesting few weeks, learning to enjoy my own company again, exploring islands and the crazy streets of this city that always has something new to find.

Hooray for Hong Kong!